In the post-apocalyptic world of Isla Rudo, dark magic rules supreme and pro wrestling is the lifeblood of the people. El Hacha Cuarto, a member of a legendary luchador dynasty, is poised to become the next Grand Wrestling Champion. But when he accidentally runs down a deer with his prized possession, the rusted-out van known as “The Smoker,” he incurs the wrath of the all-powerful and vengeful deer, Miya the Great, who seizes the van as punishment. With the help of Abby, a talking flower, El Hacha Cuarto embarks on an ultraviolent journey through the barren wastelands of Isla Rudo. Encountering a plastic alchemist, giant clowns, and the seedy underbelly of pro wrestling along the way, he will do anything to get back what rightfully belongs to him.
Can El Hacha Cuarto survive this nightmare and emerge as the Grand Wrestling Champion?
More importantly… can he reclaim his beloved van from the clutches of Miya the Great?
But more importantly, can El Hacha Cuarto get his van back?
What’s up, fellow fiction feasters? This week I’m here to bleet about what is easily one of the weirdest books I’ve ever read (and I’ve read Duncan P. Bradshaw’s Celebrity Culture, which I will confidently tell you is the most mind-melting bizarro book on this mortal coil). El Hacha… where to even start with El Hacha?
It opens with absolute carnage and chaos, something that appears to be mystical, and we’re in a pretty weird post-American-apocalypse landscape… I think. Honestly, I was bamboozled. Several times, I jotted down ‘wtf is this?’ But I will say this – I was entertained. The what-the-f***ness of this book comes from its bizarro horror nature, so any confusion is intentional and sometimes probably preferred. Now, I’ve never eaten a mushroom of the magical variety myself, obviously. It’s illegal here where I live, in an unspecified country that I suddenly feel cagey about disclosing. Anyway, I’ve never chomped a mushroom. But if I had, I might compare reading this book to surfing a trip wave. It’s no use narrowing your eyes as you read, trying to make sense of wtf is happening. It’s better to just relax and go with it, wherever it wants to take you. Trust the journey.
You want gore? This book has it in spades. Violence? Oh damn right, here be violence. Depicted in minute detail, sometimes. You want Mexican wrestling lore and tradition – hello, here it is. Do you want a character that is part lady, part flower? Maybe mostly flower? Don’t ask. I can’t possibly explain, you just have to read the book to find out.
It’s a pretty short read, even for a novella, so if you’re looking for a slice of mad, mystical, mind-melting mayhem, this is probably something you’d enjoy. I’d recommend this mostly to bizarro horror fans.
Oh yeah, there’s a magical deer.
If you’d like to fry your brain and possibly induce the weirdest nightmares you’re likely to ever have, or check out the author, you can find the links you need below:
Happy Goat Horror 
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