The Collected Short Fiction and Autobiography of Stephen Kozeniewski, 2013-2016
Despite all the evidence to the contrary, I swear I am not a vampire. Cross my heart and…eh, nevermind.
Just trust me, there are no vampires within these pages. Plenty of zombies, though. One of the short stories in this book features a zombie caveman, for instance. And another is called Exploding Shit Zombies. You can probably guess what that one’s about.
Not every story is zombie-themed, of course. I’ve also got a monster under the bed piece that’s pretty fucking scary. And in another, a bunch of little alien goblins take over a farmstead.
This isn’t just a short story collection, either. Half of it’s my autobiography. I guarantee you’ve never seen those two styles mashed together before.
I also guarantee you’ve never seen any fucking vampires before. Not here. Not anywhere. So let’s just drop it.
What do you mean, bloodstains all over the book? Don’t worry about those. Just wipe the gore off your fingers and dive in to…
Yes, I Am A Vampire
Dark bleatings, my info-seeking tribe! Today, I’m reviewing a book that’s a bit different from the norm. Half short story collection, half autobiography, this was an interesting read through Koz’s life between 2013 – 2016. It’s a unique way to lay out a book, the stories working as fictional interludes between the over-arching, real-life story of his life during this brief period.
Full disclosure: I proofread this before it was published. I’m including that information for full transparency, but the fact that I was mildly involved won’t have any bearing on this review (I’m not worried about offending Steve – he’s not easily offended).
So let’s dive in!
Clockwork Offal
This flash fiction opens the book with an extremely bleak look at where humanity could potentially go.
The non-fiction part: discusses types of stories (according to word count), e.g., what makes up a novel, novella, short story, drabble, etc. Then we move on to quite a bit of Steve’s background, touching on his earliest writings, his army career, his quest for an agent, his first short story acceptance and publication, and more. He doesn’t dwell anywhere in particular but does give us what reads as an open and honest glimpse into parts of his earlier life and relationships, and an unflinchingly sincere look at his experiences as he went into publishing.
The Thing Under the Bed
This is the short story that later was developed into a sort of parallel-world version of his novella of the similarly named, The Thing Under Your Bed. A creepy tale of a little girl trapped atop her bed one night when a blood-thirsty monster lurking beneath it makes itself known to her.
The non-fiction part: touches on the story, but talks in deeper detail about the release of his first novel, released in 2013, Braineater Jones. He talks about his publishing experience as he worked with a press to release the novel, and walks us through his assumptions of the industry, and then the reality of how things actually work. He discusses the plan he had set out for his career here, too, including the nature and benefit of book awards. It’s quite a fun, eye-opening little journey we’re on so far, following a bright-eyed, inexperienced Steve a decade in the past.
Exploding Shit Zombies
This story is exactly what it sounds like. If you’ve ever wondered what happens after zombies spend all their time munching tasty tasty flesh without the benefit of living bodily functions… well, look no further. This is also a universe tie-in for The Ghoul Archipelago.
The non-fiction part: deals with his continuing work on novels, more information as he experienced it on the indie publishing industry, and also he touches on Permuted Press, which will become a major and mysterious running thread throughout this book. I really liked how he structured this, but more on that later!
The New Dark Ages
My favourite story in this collection and, in fact, one I expected to find because I’ve reviewed it before. It was in an anthology called Fat Zombie, a book I reviewed when I was part of the fabulous team at Gingernuts of Horror (hi Jim!). I can’t remember my entire review now (it was years ago) but I do distinctly recall saying, and writing, that this was my favourite zombie short story. Ever. The less said about it, the better, but it’s about a small group of friends – survivors in the zombie apocalypse – living in the ideal set up that we all fantasise we will have when the zombies inevitably come for us all. I loved it then, I love it now still.
The non-fiction part: we get more detailed story notes this time! And, much to my surprise, he talks about meeting a new friend through this story, a kind and lovely woman who favourably reviewed it. A majestic and – some might whisper – possibly magical creature, a goddess-human hybrid, a zombie oracle, you might call this shy and humble being. It was I.
I mean…he didn’t actually describe me that way, I paraphrased. Well, not paraphrased exactly. Put words in his mouth, technically. He did talk about how we began working together though. And then he continues to detail some of the Permuted stuff but yet again, leaves us hanging. The sod.
The Man With Four Scars
A prequel to The Ghoul Archipelago set waaaaay back in the past. (I’ve mentioned it a couple of times now – for those not in the know, TGA is a huge, sprawling zombie novel.) This is my least favourite in the book, probably because I thought the protagonist was a dickhead, and also, 9 times out of 10, I much prefer contemporary settings, so it just wasn’t my cup of tea.
The non-fiction part: we get interesting and detailed story notes about the story, and also some more expansive details about TGA. More about publishing at this point in his career, new friends and contacts, and some more hints about that darn Permuted Press….
The Keys to the Stars
This is a lovely, brilliant sci-fi story about a girl who cracks a weird code, making her eligible for…let’s say, an extremely unique task for some highly unlikely folk. It’s one of my favourites in the collection.
The non-fiction part: lots of story notes, the introduction of the fabulous Stevie Kopas and Steve’s working relationship and friendship with her, and quite a bit more on Permuted.
The Old Man and the Seesaw
A Braineater Jones story, set during the timeframe of the novel itself. A story within a story sort of deal – Braineater Jones sits in a bar, listening to the origin story of a somewhat infamous character in the universe. It’s quite horrific and a little sad.
The non-fiction part: a discussion about writing, the reality of being an author – and it’s a frank account because Steve doesn’t shy away from talking about the financial side. I appreciated this, and think others – especially fellow authors – will too. It’s so rare that anyone is willing to be this open about the monetary side of things, whilst still talking so lovingly about the joy of writing.
Cadaver Bite
A The Ghoul Archipelago tie-in, and a closer look at one of the characters from the novel. Also, a very unique concept, featuring someone sentenced to death, and what happens thereafter.
The non-fiction part: very detailed, interesting story notes.
The Quiet Life
One of my favourites. An end-of-world story about what’s left of the human race surviving creatures that hunt by sound – specifically the human voice.
The non-fiction part: delves into the nature of authors sharing similar ideas, purely by chance. Of course, Tim Lebbon’s The Silence is referenced here, as is the movie, A Quiet Place. Steve generously offers that the similarities between Lebbon’s work and that movie is a coincidence. I disagree. In my opinion…well, let’s not go there for this review, but anyway! It’s an interesting discussion prompted by a great short. Also, a little more on the Permuted ordeal.
Traditions
A truly dastardly festive story, a flash fiction, and another of my favourites. How totally fun!
The non-fiction part: FINALLY! What happened with Permuted is here! I have to say, as non-fiction goes, the teasing of this plot throughout the book did have me hooked and eager for the next non-fiction section. I think the structure of this book is great, and tells both the fiction and non-fiction parts in an ideal way.
Also…holy cripes, you guys.
A Visit From…
Another festive horror flash fiction, which I like even more than the last one.
The non-fiction part: friends, books, and a detailed look at Steve’s life that year, which tells of the end of his marriage. Like his discussions of publishing, it’s open and honest, and surprisingly vulnerable. Definitely way more than I was expecting from a book that I initially assumed would be stories, mixed in with a bit of a laugh and industry gossip.
Brightly Shining
The last story to round off the book, and a festive one!
The non-fiction part: ends us on an uplifting note. Conventions, Brian Keene, new friends, horizons, and hopes for the future, plus a funny anecdote readdressing the idea of authors unknowingly writing similar stories.
So, overall, this book is a surprise. I do always enjoy it when authors add story notes to accompany their fiction, and this is on another level. There’s so much detail here, both about Steve’s work and his life, and how his life was informing his work at the time, and about how his work was informing his life at the time…and…let’s just say, there’s a lot going on. It’s very raw in places. There didn’t seem to be any sugar coating here at all.
If you’re looking for an autobiography with some stories sprinkled in (and for me, the non-fiction sections are as much a selling point, if not more of one than the fiction), look no further. If you’re looking for some unfiltered opinions, and some indie press shenanigans, this is also the place.
I’d recommend this to Kozeniewski fans (obviously – and really, Koz fans should love this book), horror fans, and people with an interest in the mechanics of being an indie author.
If you want to check out the book or the author, I’ve popped some links below for you:
Happy Goat Horror 
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