Chatter from all corners brings the dilapidated community centre to life. Sinatra crackles across the room. Chair legs scrape on the uneven hardwood floor. Yes, the residents of Newhaven Crescent are all busy prepping for another thrilling evening. Could it be Bingo night? Another talent show? Or is it to welcome the clipboard-carrying visitors from the council tasked with enforcing the centre’s shutdown? Nana’s back. She has pie!
And Other Dark Tales:
A collection of highly entertaining stories follows the prequel. Horror and humor await!
Dark bleatings, my lovely tribe! Before I get into the review, I need to publicly apologise to Mark Towse because it’s been so long since he asked me to review this, that I don’t remember when he asked me to review it. I’m not sure how it happened, but this book slipped through my net and ended up in a weird place on my Kindle, and it was when I was deleting things recently that I found it. It takes me a while to get to things because of my ever-enormous review TBR, but holy crap, even for me, this was taking the piss. Sorry Mark, I had a mishap.
Anyway, did I like this collection, you might be asking? Well, let’s see! I’ve got a little story by story breakdown for you.
Poison Ivy
This is a prequel to Mark’s novella, ‘Nana’, which you might already know I’m still obsessed with and highly recommend. In fact, you can find it HERE. This is the story of Simon, who finds himself the quite unlikely but nevertheless unfortunate victim of Nana and her friends. Mark is brilliant at blending horror with comedy.
You Only Live Once
Eric and Gerald have a long-standing beef and it’s time to pay the piper. I had no idea where this story was going and was pleasantly surprised by the violence. I don’t know what that says about me.
A Low Spirit
One of the shortest stories in the collection and one of the most emotionally brutal. Hard to talk about without spoilers, but its placement cut through the humour and threw off my expectations for the rest of the collection (in a good way).
Nocturnal Pursuits of the Elderly
This might be my favourite story in the book. Mark has a true talent in the way he writes his older horror characters. I find that often, elderly people aren’t included, or they’re depicted as gross, liabilities, or nuisances, rather than…you know…human beings that are just a bit older. Mark tends to make them a bit evil because it’s horror, but they’re always fleshed out and full of personality, and actual people. Actual people that worship dark gods or fancy a bit of murder.
Anyway, this story is about a married man that drops his wife off to her social gathering every week and then goes off to enjoy his own secret dastardly weekly hobby. The thing I liked the most about this story is a spoiler that I refuse to inflict on you, but it’s a great story and I loved where it went. It’s dark!
Spoons
This was my least favourite, I’m sorry to say. Sam is searching for treasure (there’s some weighty subtext, I think). The reason I didn’t like this one is because it made me sad.
Golden Child
The ending of this one is genius and the story deserves some sort of anthology show onscreen adaptation. Charlie collects stickers (remember those sticker books you could fill up when we were kids?!), and he’s almost completed it! Aaaaand once again I can’t elaborate, but the idea was so unique and fun.
Through Her Eyes
This is a gothic horror story with a nasty edge, and probably the scariest in the book. A widowed man is struggling with his daughter because she’s suddenly repeating the harshest words spoken by his wife throughout their relationship. There are hideous reasons for this and there are multiple layers of horror here.
Eric’s Tune
Another favourite. Straight up horror and very chilling. Jake lies in a jail cell (as part of a joke) during an old prison tour (no longer functional), which is popular for the ghost walk tourists because it once contained a heinous murderer that apparently haunts the place. Jake soon realises he’s made a terrible mistake!
Hugh’s Friend
A very short story of a man with some struggles. Packs a bit of a punch.
Devil’s Ink
A man takes a particular piece of writing very seriously…
A dark one to close out on, and right up my street!
Overall, I really enjoyed this collection. It contains Mark’s trademark comedy horror blend, as well as some seriously savage, scary ideas. I’d recommend it for sure to horror fans! If you’d like to check out the book or the author, I’ve popped some links below for you:
Bleeeeeat!
Happy Goat Horror 
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