Bestselling author Joe R. Lansdale is known for his gritty mysteries and his eccentric horror. As an eleven-time Bram Stoker Award winner, Joe Lansdale cooks up an inimitable recipe of Southern Gothic and Southern fried chicken that continues to delight his many fans and influence generations of horror legends. Lansdale mashes up crime, Gothic, mystery, fantasy, and science-fiction, filtered through a raw, violent world of dark humor and unique characters. Lansdale is one of the early American horror writers to portray racism not as abstract but as realistic, intimate, and impossible to ignore. In Lansdale’s nightmarish visions, you’ll discover psychotic demon nuns, a psychopathic preacher, cannibals, 80-year-old Elvis, undead strippers, flying ghost fish, Elder Gods, possessed cars, and the worst evil of all: mankind.
Dark bleatings, my essential tribe! Joe R. Lansdale has a book coming out in October this year, and I was lucky enough to receive an ARC, so I get to talk about it with you early – woohoo!
It opens with an introduction by Joe Hill, who it’s always a pleasure to read, another introduction by Joe himself, and then preceding each story, we are treated to some brief story notes. Let’s dive in!
The Folding Man
Jim and his friends are in a car one Halloween night, when the drunk prank of mooning a car full of nuns (which seemed hilarious at first, obviously) goes awry. The nuns are only part of the freakishness of this particular night, and unluckily for Jim and his pals, they’re not the most dangerous part. It had a creepy atmosphere and the pacing was very fast, which I thought reflected the situation very well because everything happens so quickly and unexpectedly for the group that they barely have time to react.
The Hoodoo Man and the Midnight Train
A man that speaks of hideous crimes with no moral conflict about them whatsoever, and a train that apparently never lets anyone off…what’s going on in this Western debauchery?! I’m not hugely into Westerns, but the mystery and the raw heinousness of this one kept me going. Quite disturbing.
God of the Razor
Wonderfully weird and a favourite. Richards encounters a man (a man that has evidently done some terrible things) that is babbling about razor blades with eyes that sing, and a whole bunch of other, seemingly delusional scary things. Great imagery.
My Dead Dog Bobby
Oh God, this is horrible! It’s a flash fiction, not even two pages long, but the punchline hits hard. I almost stopped reading because it starts with some gruesome animal stuff, but I’m glad I continued to the end. I love nasty twists.
Tight Little Stitches in a Dead Man’s Back
This one is very bleak, and I found it a repulsive read because it’s written in first person and the main character is horrible in his thoughts. That’s already horrific enough, but we’re in a post apocalyptic time and the thing that destroyed the world is pure nightmare fuel.
By Bizarre Hands
Jesus Effing Christ. I thought the last one was a hard read but this was ten times worse! Preacher Judd is a bad man. A. BAD. Man. The very worst. He’s racist, and disgusting in truly unspeakable ways. TW for several things here, including hideous language (contextual and because of the character’s perspective). I don’t know what to make of it. It’s certainly horror, but not the kind I normally opt to read, because it’s very upsetting. I think this one lends itself well to the extreme horror fans among you.
On the Far Side of the Cadillac Desert with Dead Folks
I recently read this in The Mammoth Book of Zombie Stories. Absolute debauchery!
Love Doll: A Fable
I found this one really interesting but it’s hard to talk about without spoilers because it’s so short. Essentially, it’s about a man with a blow-up doll. She’s the ideal woman for him at first, until she gets her own ideas. Fascinating metaphor about relationship dynamics and views about roles in partnerships, if one of the partners in question is a raving misogynist.
Mister Weed-Eater
A bizarre tale of a man who forms a somewhat strained and odd friendship with a blind groundskeeper, who asks for help when they first meet. As their relationship progresses, the man begins to feel threatened by the groundskeeper in multiple ways. I enjoyed it and despite hating the groundskeeper, found it funny.
The Bleeding Shadow
A man called Richard is sought after for help from an old friend called Alma May. Her brother hasn’t been seen in a while, and all she has in his place is a creepy record that seems to alter the room the more she plays it. With a soft spot for her, Richard goes out to find him, only he’s not expecting what he ends up finding. It’s a creepy story with a noir feel to it, and it reminds me of a level of a zombie game I played once (if you’ve played it, I think you’ll know exactly what I mean – though this is NOT a zombie story).
Not From Detroit
This one is quite lovely, despite appearances. A man is angry at Death – a physical character – for taking his wife, and sets out to best him.
The Hungry Snow
A Reverend, a group of starving people that aren’t above cannibalism for survival, and the small matter of a lurking Wendigo. This is a good old-fashioned monster horror, reflected through the actual monster and humanity when forced into monstrosities. A favourite in the collection for me!
Dog, Cat, and Baby
A nasty little flash fiction with the darkest streak of humour ever, and I enjoyed it immensely. Jealousy between a dog, a cat, and a baby. I have to say, Lansdale really did capture the essence of the typical dog and cat.
Bubba Ho-Tep
I’d read this before (but have not seen the movie based on it!), and always imagine that those in the “Elvis didn’t really die” camp might get an extra kick out of it. What if Elvis was sick of being so famous and decided to switch with an impersonator? Well, find out here! I can’t stand Elvis so this wasn’t a personal favourite, but that’s not Lansdale’s fault, obviously.
Fish Night
A delightfully bizarre story about fish that are – yes, out of place – but seemingly harmless. SEEMINGLY. Spoiler: they’re not.
Night They Miss the Horror Show
This is one of Lansdale’s most well-known stories, I think, and its message is anti-racist, but I couldn’t finish it (I’m so sorry, Mr. Lansdale!). The characters are so hideously, detestably racist that even though I knew that was the point, and that they likely get what they deserve in the end, I just couldn’t stand them, especially the way they talk. It was too upsetting. The mark of great writing, actually, but I’m too sensitive for this particular story.
A problem I had was that across these stories, there were so many characters that I found horrid and repulsive, and not just the antagonists. There is a general, liberal use of (contextual and character-driven) racist and ableist slurs, along with other turns of phrase that turned my stomach, and I found it so jarring as a reader that tends to need relatable characters to latch onto. I think it’s important to note that I believe that being truthful about people and the language they use is extremely important in fiction, and Lansdale is so good at this, which is why I found a lot of it a difficult read. His message is anti-prejudice, and anti-racist, and I’m in full support of that, I’m just not the ideal reader for stories expressed in these particular ways because I just get too uncomfortable and don’t enjoy the reading experience.
However, I also found the variety of horror fantastic, and Lansdale’s stories range from real-world terrifying scenarios to the weirdest and most wonderful complete and utter madness. His story telling is creative and entertaining across the board, and however I felt about each story in particular, the message is always driven home. Excellent use of the darkest humour, too.
I’d definitely recommend this to horror fans, particularly those who are interested in embedded socio-political themes. If you’d like to check out the book or the author, I’ve popped some links below for you. The Essential Horror of Joe R. Lansdale will be released in the UK on 7th October, 2025.
THE ESSENTIAL HORROR OF JOE R. LANSDALE
Bleeeeat!
Happy Goat Horror 
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