Stories From The Motel Sick is a genre-bending anthology featuring new stories from authors of horror, bizarro fiction, sci-fi, erotica, noir, and so much more. Each story takes place at the Motel Sick, a strange, metaphysical motel on the edge of a highway leading to nowhere in particular. Inside, you’ll find criminals and lovers, aliens, clones, loads of bones, tiny people, time travel, legacies of death, the virtuous and the vicious, grappling for money, power, fame, escape… everything and anything can be found somewhere inside the shifting interior of the Motel Sick. What most people don’t understand is that although any form of currency is accepted at the Motel Sick (from cash to credit, from wampum to doubloons) the true price isn’t always evident until its time to check out.
Dark bleatings, my sick tribe. I just have a quick question….why the f is no one talking about this anthology?! I just checked a few places for reviews, only to find – with great dismay – that there are hardly any. This is genuinely a sad thing because this anthology is bloody brilliant and its glory deserves to be spread far and wide. Much like some of the guests you’d find in the title motel.
The concept for this book is that every story is set in the Motel Sick, a bizarre place where all your dreams and nightmares can come true. There’s a room for any theme imaginable (literally, ANY theme imaginable). It looks like a regular, crappy motel from the outside but when you step inside, you might find that there are 40 floors and hundreds or thousands of rooms. Before I wrap up my overall thoughts, let’s dive into the stories…
‘Introduction: Room 00’ – by Shane Mckenzie
The book opens with this first-person, surreal, kind of meta, in character, obscene introduction. The combination of everything I just mentioned about the writing style made me immediately uneasy. I don’t think I want to stay at this particular motel!
‘Motel Guest Waiver & Agreement’ – by Bridget D. Brave
You know, I’m not sure I’d sign this waiver. Though…I am quite intrigued by the mention of THE VOID and THE ENTITY. Intrigued, but horrified. So, okay, I get the concept for this anthology, and I am already extremely entertained. I just have a horrible feeling that before long, I’ll be running for the door screaming…
‘Room 657: The Honeymoon Suite’ – by Jeff Strand
Oh hell, Strand is here, and if I know Strand, I’m about to be deeply disturbed. Back in 5 when I’ve read his…
Yup.
Ben and Natalie are newlyweds that want to stay in the motel. They request the Sentient Horny Bed Room, which appears to exist because they’ve requested it. It’s exactly what it sounds like – their bed will be aware and turned on by what they plan to do on it. Apparently, any room imaginable exists here, which leaves a lot of opportunity for humour but also some really messed up horror. Things don’t quite go as they imagined when the couple don’t…er…last long, and the bed is frustrated….
‘Room 210: Family Tradition’ – by John Bruni
What a spine-chilling idea for a story. A man who decides he’s going to end things says goodbye to his unknowing wife and son, and then looks for a crappy motel to do the deed in. He rolls up on The Motel Sick, where he is promptly offered ‘The Dead Body Room’. He thinks it’s a gimmick until he lets himself in…
This is an intriguing story and the writing is very engaging. I found myself hooked from the first page to the last, and it’s one of my favourites.
‘Room 16: Saving Morton Davenport’ – by Brian Pinkerton
Gary goes to the Motel Sick after murdering and robbing a man, only to find himself trapped in the travels of a bizarre elevator. This particular elevator has its pros and cons, but of course, this is a horror story…
I was highly amused by the dark edge in the writing of this one, and the perils of the characters.
‘Room 11,700: The Authentic Experience’ – by Christine Morgan
A group of friends who like to try new things check into the motel, which one of them has arranged, to find that their room is, in fact, a prehistoric cave. There’s a lot of learning and fun to be had, but also, you know, dangers…
Such a fun idea and one I wasn’t expecting, even in a book as creative as this.
‘Room 617: Gideons’ – by Christopher Hawkins
A serial killer goes to the motel (he never goes to the same place twice) to do his “work”. He opens a drawer to find a miniature, living replica of the room he’s in inside it, complete with a little mini replica of himself.
This was one of the more original ideas (and one of my favourites) in this anthology, and I say that with no complaint or disrespect to the other stories because they are all bizarre and unique. It’s just that this one pushed the envelope even further.
‘In Case of Fire: Burnburnburnburnburn’ – by Michael Allen Rose
What a cool and fun inclusion! This is simply instructions in case of a fire, complete with a highly amusing map.
‘Room 337: Osteologist’ – by Cynthia Pelayo
This is a creepy tale about a guy who gets so obsessed with bones that the other things in his life pale in significance, including his marriage. I like this story but I feel like it doesn’t quite fit this anthology, because the motel doesn’t seem special in the way it does in the other stories.
‘Room 12: The Wormholerin’ Room’ – by David Agranoff
A guy goes to the motel so he can have some peace and quiet to finish writing a script, away from his noisy, time-travelling neighbour, Gary. What he finds in this room, however, is not the peace and quiet he craves…
This one, I found highly amusing even though it also hit me with a kind of existential dread.
‘Room 4?: I’ve Always Had A thing for Wayne Newton’ – by Matt Dinniman
Holy flirkin scifi horror. I was initially intrigued because this is written in the second person, a very clever way to tell this story since who we are is especially significant (and surprising). It steers into some pretty disturbing and depraved areas that wouldn’t be out of place in a season of American Horror Story. I don’t know if ‘enjoyable’ is the right word for it, but I was very entertained as I recoiled.
‘Room 118: The Woman Who Dies’ – by David Scott Hay
Inspired by the life and art of Marina Abramovic. That’s a pleasant surprise as I used to follow her work (she’s famous for some pretty disturbing performance art that, if you are not easily upset, is well worth checking out if you’re unfamiliar). Now, I think this story is phenomenal. I’ve read hundreds of short stories this year and this one stands out. Buuuuut I think it’s an ill fit for the theme of this anthology, because the motel really doesn’t play a role. You could take her out of her motel room and put her in any other motel, and it wouldn’t change the story. I have to acknowledge that in the interest of being fair in this review. However, this is a beautifully written story about the horror of self-discovery during a longer than average life. I was fascinated, entertained, and engrossed, and have no criticisms of the story itself.
‘Room 1,653: Love and Lust in the Age of Destruction’ – by John Baltisberger
The room number in the title made me laugh. This motel is wild. This is possibly my favourite story in the entire anthology. I don’t think I’ve ever actually chortled in my life, but chortle I did. I giggled too. And once or twice, amidst a surprised laugh, I even snorted.
So anyway, a man reeling from a break up has been directed to the motel by his friends, where they have arranged a surprise for him. They’ve booked him a room and the theme is…well, it’s hilarious. It’s so silly, so comically described, and so perfect for a book like this. Any elaboration on said theme would be spoiling it for you, but what a funny, creative, and unexpected idea. I loved it!
‘Room 33: The Ruggieri Room’ – by Garrett Cook
This one felt both viscerally and tonally vicious! A man wants in to the Ruggieri room, where he expects to be tested. He plans to pass, to win, because there’s a great reward in store if he plays his cards right. He thinks.
I was very interested as I read this one and I think it could be developed because it feels like it just scratched the surface of a whole (probably horrible) universe.
‘Room 10,000,000: Ten Million’ – by Jason Rizos
An artist searches for another artist at the motel, only to find the art being created is the kind that draws you in. Literally. This is a perfect example of why I don’t even bother trying to paint or whittle or even assess whether or not something is art, because this is the type of scenario I’d find myself in.
‘Room 240:…240…’ – by Elizabeth Broadbent
Oof, I have mixed feelings. Firstly, I LOVE Elizabeth Broadbent and I think she has produced some of the best stories of the last five years. Buuuut this one didn’t do it for me, for the same reason as another story – it just, for me, doesn’t serve the theme of the anthology super effectively. I do like the story (no surprise there because I have never not liked or loved a story by this author), but I feel like the motel didn’t play a role that other motels couldn’t. The story itself is enjoyable, but it’s not a favourite because of the anthology it’s in, if that makes sense.
‘Room 1,299: Amuerka’ – by Jim Marcus
This one involves some deep sadness and a conversation between some very old…somethings. This one didn’t quite hit for me for the same reason as the last story, it just seemed to me that the setting could have been utilised more strongly. I’m wondering if I’m being too picky in this regard now. Obviously my preference is that each room is front and centre, but maybe I’m just gripping on too tightly to that idea because I’ve been most entertained by the stories that feature rooms of pure insanity and impossibility.
‘Room Service Menu’ – by Michael Allen Rose, Sauda Namir, John Chambers, and David Scott Hay
Exactly what it sounds like, and it’s hilarious.
‘Room 66: Room Sixty-Six’ – by John Chambers
This one is about a trio of thieves running from the law, staying in a room that moves non-stop at 80 miles per hour. It’s an absolute hoot. The imagery alone…
Imagine being asleep and then a bird slams into you like you’re a windscreen.
‘Room 21: Stacks on Stacks’ – by John Wayne Comunale
Two wanted criminals find themselves in the ‘money’ room, where every single thing is made of cash that they’re allowed to take with them when they leave. Of course, this is the Motel Sick, so there’s a catch…
Pretty humorous, and a lot of fun.
‘Room 69: Kraftig Fortrolighet’ – by Bridget D. Brave
I absolutely loved this story and my major complaint is that I wish there was more of it! A religious, newlywed couple stay in the Honeymoon Suite, which has a bathroom with an…interesting function. I felt so teased when it ended, it had the potential to go nuclear. Great idea and great story.
Bridget, please, if you see this then I beg you to write a sequel or some sort of expansion on this idea. It’s hilarious.
‘Room 2,700: Let There Be Light’ – by Elizabeth Broadbent
Yay, more Elizabeth Broadbent! A woman full of self-loathing checks into the motel, where she starts having inexplicable, unlikely dreams about a mystery woman. There was an uplifting air to this one, which I really enjoyed because though comical a lot of the time, the people that check into this motel don’t tend to get a happy ending.
No, not that kind of happy ending, you perverts. If you’re reading this, Broadbent, I hope you enjoyed that joke.
‘Room oo: The Last Room at the End of the Very Last Hall’ – by John Skipp
Norman (I don’t know if this is a Psycho reference just because it’s a motel setting, but I like to think so!) checks in to the Fever Room. It is humid with sweat. Dear lord, the very apt and evocative descriptions of this place. It’s both an abstract but very human idea, and one of my favourites in the anthology.
Alright, so what are we thinking overall? Honestly, this is one of the best anthologies I’ve read this year, easily. The concept is one that really appeals to me because there’s so much creative scope, which the authors really ran with. Even the stories that I personally feel didn’t fit as well were great stories on their own merits. The feel the book gives me as a whole is that everyone was having a great time as they put this together, and there’s a uniformity to some common elements (like the guy on reception, for example) that ties everything together so it does all feel part of one place.
It’s really quite difficult to pick a top 3 because so many of the ideas are so unique and the execution of each story is great, but at a push, I’d say my favourite favourites are ‘Room 1653: Love and Lust in the Age of Destruction (by John Baltisberger)’, ‘Room 69: Kraftig Fortrolighet’ (by Bridget D. Brave), and honestly, ‘Room Service Menu’ (by Michael Allen Rose, Sauda Namir, John Chambers, and David Scott Hay).
I wholeheartedly recommend this book, and if you’d like to check it out, I’ve popped a link below for you:
Bleeeeat!
Happy Goat Horror 
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