Dark bleatings everyone! I’m just popping in to make an introduction, and then I’ll be leaving you in the capable hands of our guest poster this week, C.M. Saunders.
Pssst, word on the street is that Saunders has a new book out, so keep your eyes peeled for our imminent review of it! Enjoy the post!
Horror and comedy go together like chocolate and cocaine, especially in the movie world. Maybe it’s the absurdity of it all. Humour takes the edge off and provides some light relief. It can be subtle, clever, and quietly subversive, or it can be fast, bloody and brutal. So how about a run down of the best horror comedy movies ever made just to make sure you’re not missing out on anything essential? By the way, I know Evil Dead should be somewhere on this list but for the life of me I never saw the funny in that. To me, it’s just terrifying.
10: I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle (1990)
Once upon a time, in a faraway land called Eighties Britain, there was a popular comedy drama TV series called Boon about a courier service-cum-private detective agency. It was so popular that a shrewd production company hired its two main stars, Michael Elphick and Neil Morrissey, to appear in a riotous low-budget horror romp in an attempt to capitalise on its burgeoning success. They only partially failed. In the beginning there are satanic rituals and rival biker gangs, climaxing in a motorcycle getting possessed and then purchased by unsuspecting courier called Noddy (Morrissey). Pretty soon, people start having terrible ‘accidents’ and it appears the motorcycle is to blame. But how? I mean, it’s a fucking motorcycle. Except its not. It’s a vampire motorcycle. This film is every bit as bizarre as it sounds. There’s even a talking turd.
9: Inbred (2011)
This often overlooked British banger sees a group of thuggish young offenders banished to an isolated Yorkshire town to do community service. During a run-in with a group of rival twats, Jim the carer falls and cuts open an artery in his leg. In a panic, the young offenders take him to a nearby pub to get help. Unfortunately, the locals (aka, ‘inbreds’) don’t like strangers in them there parts. Not at all. They quickly decapitate poor Jim with a meat cleaver and lock the young offenders in the cellar, taking them out one by one for their entertainment. Daft and disturbing, the most impressive thing about Inbred is just how far the makers managed to stretch a measly £109,000 budget. That wouldn’t even buy you a house in most places.
8: Doghouse (2009)
It’s got Danny Dyer in it, and it’s about a boy’s night out gone wrong. Therefore, you just know it’s going to be crude, filthy and unashamedly misogynistic. What did you expect? At its core, it’s a parody of lad culture riffing on men’s inherent fear of women. Luckily, it’s funny enough to compensate for all the Cosmo schtick. Dyer, helped out by Noel Clarke (before he was abruptly cancelled for being a real life sex pest), Stephen Graham, and a few other less famous faces, head to a fabled town where women allegedly outnumber men 4-1. When they get there, they realise this isn’t actually a good thing because everyone with a uterus has fallen victim to a biological toxin that turns them all into frenzied, blood-thirsty zombie types. Let the battle of the sexes commence.
7: Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)
Before James Corden became a late-night TV host (or got his driving license) he made films like this. The critics hated it, with The Times calling it an, “Instantly forgettable lad mag farce.” But that isn’t really saying much, The Times hates every film that isn’t artsy fartsy French drama you need multiple degrees to understand. Personally, as far as low-brow humour goes, I thought this unofficial companion to Doghouse was an absolute riot. When Jimmy (Mathew Horne, the other bloke in legendary sitcom Gavin & Stacey) is dumped and Fletch (Corden), is sacked from his clown job for punching a kid, the duo decide to escape for the weekend to an idyllic village in Norfolk which, unbeknownst to them, has been cursed. It does make you wonder why young drunk guys insist on going to these places.
6: Severance (2006)
Severance mixes humour, bravado, and some of the most brutal body horror this side of the Saw franchise to great effect, making it one of the stand-out Brit Horror films of the past two decades. The plot revolves around a group of office staff sent to Hungary on a team building exercise. The cast is made up of an eclectic group of characters, all living up to certain long-held office stereotypes. Danny Dyer pops up again, playing everyman caner Steve, who sees the getaway as the perfect opportunity to get off his tits. He’s munching magic mushrooms and puffing on a spliff in the toilet before the coach even stops. All in all, Severance comes off like a mash-up between Hostel and The Office. Brilliant fun.
5: Dog Soldiers (2002)
From the opening scenes, when a couple camping in the Scottish Highlands are brutally ripped apart by a ferocious beast, you’re left in little doubt that this is a werewolf flick. If you like your horror bloody, funny, and gore-tastic, you can do a lot worse. You’re probably never going to see another northern bloke in combat gear holding a flare aloft and singing, “Come and ‘ave a go if you think you’re ‘ard enough!” to a group of rampaging lycanthropes ever again. A bona fide cult classic.
4: An American Werewolf in London (1981)
Some films you see during your formative years leave an impression. Others scar you for life. For me, An American Werewolf in London belongs firmly in the latter category. The subway chase scene gave me nightmares and years later when I moved to London I remember going out of my way to incorporate Tottenham Court Road station, where the scene was filmed, in my daily commute. It never failed to give me chills, largely because the only thing that’s changed in the past 40-odd years are the posters. The story goes that when director John Landis first started touting the concept, would-be investors claimed the script was too frightening to be a comedy and too funny to be frightening.
3: Tucker And Dale Versus Evil (2010)
Tucker and Dale are two well-meaning redneck hillbilly types with a knack for getting it wrong. Awfully wrong. They also happen to be the unluckiest duo in movie history. Whilst on their way to their vacation cabin deep in the woods, Dale tries talking to a couple of girls at a truck stop but is hamstrung by crippling anxiety (“I hate my face!”). Later, the group set about accidentally killing themselves, and each other, all while trying to run away from Tucker and Dale who really just want to help. As Dale says to love interest Allison: “I should have known if a guy like me talked to a girl like you, somebody would end up dead.” Riotous fun packed full of one-liners you’ll be quoting for the rest of your life.
2: The Lost Boys (1987)
In many ways Joel Schumacher’s triumph of style over substance encapsulated the eighties. It was big, brash, gaudy, and ever-so-slightly camp yet also funny, slick, and immeasurably cool. In the case of Kiefer Sutherland, it might also be one of the few times a character rocks a mullet and gets away with it. For the uninitiated, this is the story of two brothers, Sam (Corey Haim, RIP) and Michael (Jason Patric) who move to Santa Carla with their recently-divorced mother (Dianne West). It could be a nice place, if it wasn’t for all the damn vampires. At the time, Lost Boys represented something of a gamble by Warner Bros. Horror comedies aimed specifically at teenagers was a largely unexplored genre. The plot itself is a little thin with not many surprises, but the script is sharp and the sleek MTV-style visuals positively spellbinding. Lost Boys was much more than the sum of its parts, making an undeniable impression on the Gen X psyche and paving the way for everything from Buffy the Vampire Slayer to the Twilight saga.
1: Shaun of the Dead (2004)
Could any other film really take top spot in this list? Not on your nelly, mate. This, the first instalment of Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg’s so-called Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy (the others entries being Hot Fuzz and The World’s End) is a bona-fide modern classic. Whilst dealing with feuding housemates, a demanding girlfriend and a shitty job, Shaun (Pegg) wakes up one morning with a monster hangover to find he’s in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. We’ve all been there. Naturally, the only place to go to wait for things to blow over is the local pub. Brilliant performances by the cream of noughties British comedic talent and commendable special effects topped off by a hilarious script. The perfect introduction to a booming sub-genre.
Bleatings, dudes, it’s me again – Kayleigh, your humble Goat Leader. I just wanted to pop back in to thank Saunders for this tremendous article. I absolutely agree with #1. I think it might be one of the best films of any genre in the entire world! If you enjoyed this guest post, be sure to let us know!
The Wretched Bones: A Ben Shivers Mystery by C.M. Saunders is out now on Midnight Machinations Press, an imprint of Grinning Skull.
Happy Goat Horror 
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