Happy Goat Horror

Dark bleatings, my lovelies! If you’re thinking of dipping your toes into horror but you’re a bit scared and don’t want to dive into anything that’s likely to give you nightmares, I have a pile of recommendations here for you. If you’re prefer to see the video version of this list, you can find it RIGHT HERE AT THIS JOLLY LINK TO THE YT VIDEO. Just remember – horror is forever, not just for Christmas! I joke.

Or do I?

Anyway, I’m being weird, sorry about that. Here we go.

MILK by Adam Millard

This is a comedy horror about Lou, a man that lives in a dusty, post-apocalypse town, who makes his living with his small store. One day, he inexplicably starts lactating, and since milk is in short supply, well…

This won’t be for all of you as there is some body horror, mutants, and gore. It is also absolutely hilarious.

THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY by Oscar Wilde

This classic novel tells the story of a man who’s rather infatuated with himself, especially his looks, and he wants to preserve his beauty for as long as possible. This is light on the horror while still being heavy on the themes, and it contains supernatural elements. It also has a lovely, somewhat gothic atmosphere to it. The writing is beautiful.

BLACK SHEEP by Rachel Harrison

Most of this story is more mysterious than outright scary, but this is particularly dark religious horror so if you want to enjoy that sort of tone without having lots of violence, this might be for you. Our main character is a woman who was basically ex-communicated from her religion and, by proxy, her entire hometown and everyone she loved. One day, she has cause to return home, where she discovers things about herself that would make any reasonable person want to run for the hills.

SUCH SHARP TEETH also by Rachel Harrison

This is a story of friendship and also finding love, with a werewolfy background. Once again, this author explores her themes without too much explicit bloodshed, but gives enough in this subgenre to be a very satisfying and oddly wholesome read.

INTO THE WILD GREEN YONDER by Peter Crowther and Tim Lebbon

Perhaps you want to dip your toes into horror waters but would prefer not to go right into a full novel-length work? Then, oh boy, do I have the book for you! This novella (which is beautifully presented with the most gorgeous artwork in the world), is about a married couple that move into a fixer-upper, but when the guy decides to do some work in the garden, he finds he can’t get back to the house. This has an Alice in Wonderland kind of vibe to it, and merges in some very weird fantasy elements. The horror in this is light because it comes out of the situation, more than from direct scenes of horror, if that makes sense.

WE HAVE ALWAYS LIVED IN THE CASTLE by Shirley Jackson

This is more gothic than horror, and so I think possibly perfect if you’re nervous about exploring the genre and need a good starting place. This is about two sisters who live in a big old house, following an alarming family tragedy. They’re kind of pariahs in town, on account of everyone being suspicious about one of them in particular being responsible for the family tragedy.

THE CORPSE ROAD by Sean Hogan

This is about two sisters that have their differences but are initially bound by a shared piece of family property, and then a horrible tragedy they suffer while at the property. It’s told in alternating chapters from the womens’ points of view, and it’s a fascinating exploration of a difficult sibling relationship in the wake of a horrible event that changes them forever. And also, towards the end, there’s some pretty scary lore, but it’s not egregiously physical, more like…very very creepy.

THE WITCH OF WILLOW SOUND by Vanessa F. Penney

Horror themes with a light dusting of horror scenes, this book is about a woman who returns to her favourite auntie’s house for the first time in years, because the auntie is missing. When our protagonist gets to the town, she finds that almost everyone was afraid of her aunt and thought her a witch. Desperate to find out what happened to this lovely woman, she embarks on a quest to find out what happened.

KING SORROW by Joe Hill

I always say that Joe Hill tells his horror through a fantasy lens, which makes his stories a little more magical than a lot of other horror I read. This story reads like many quests. We have a group of characters, all with very distinct personalities, that find themselves at the mercy of a dragon they summon for help, but live to regret conjuring. They owe him….forever. This book feels like lots of genres merged into one huge story. Don’t be intimidated by the size of the book, it’s such a page turner you won’t want it to end.

DELICATE CONDITION by Danielle Valentine

An actress in the midst of trying to propel her career is extra stressed because this coincides with her trying to get pregnant, and things have not been going so well in the latter regard. When she finally is with child, a chain of disturbing and creepy events are set in motion, and she feels like she’s going insane because everyone around her dismisses everything she worries about. This, I would say, is a great entry point for people new to horror because it has all the unsettling stuff but won’t leave you feeling freaked out or depressed at the end.

SLEWFOOT by Brom

This modern masterpiece is set in puritanical times and it’s about a women who is suddenly widowed, and then must fight to retain control and ownership of her property, as she is now without a man. She’s already somewhat of a social pariah because she’s not from the town she lives in, and people find her…disagreeable, especially the men. There’s a big, flamey climax, and lots of dark magical delights along the way.

I hope something here piques your interest, and that you enjoy it! Welcome to the tribe, new horror fans 🙂

Bleeeeat!